Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

Alright, I am going to have a little rant – because I need to and this is my blog and I can cry if I want to. (you have been warned)

I’ve reached a point in my life where my brain went from “you probably should’nt say that” to “what the hell, let’s see what happens“. The throat punch, a concept somehow distinct from a punch to the throat, was defined by Urban Dictionary in 2004 as a “rapid, unexpected knucklethrust into larynx of a douchebag who is pissing you off”.   So… here is a list of things that recently made me want to punch someone in the throat.

1. People who expect their parents to financially support their children, and willingly have more. You can barely look after yourself. It’s selfish, stop it. (This only applies to people over the age of 23 with jobs, I get it – accidents happen).

2. People who are naturally skinny giving tips on weight loss. Just go home, you can’t sit with us.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

3. Women who go back to a perfect size 10 a month after having a baby. I hate you. I wish I was you…but I hate you.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

4. People who stand too close to me in ques. What is up with that? I can feel your breath on my ears… not ayoba.

5. Strangers coming up to me trying to touch my baby – usually in the facial area – which causes me to swat them away like flies. I will hurt you. I don’t know where your hands have been??

6. The fact that our president is an embarrassment and total waste of oxygen.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

7. The fact that global warming, deforestation and to overall destruction of the planet is not being taken seriously by most of the population.

8. Coming home only to walk into my closet to find my clothes or shoes have been rearranged and is no longer  in order of colour/season – I am severely OCD.

9. Unsolicited pregnancy/parenting advice. Also, people who give advise on something they obviously suck at.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

11. People who believe Googling something makes them an medical expert.

12. Copycats – for the pure reason that it irritates me that some people think so little of themselves that it is impossible for them to even try have an original thought.

13. Animal abuse, of any kind.

14. People who let their toddlers drink coffee and coke – why not just stab it in the face while you are at it?

15. Traffic on the M5.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

16. Littering. Wtf man – there are bins everywhere.

17. SA’s maternity leave laws.

18. People who stare… even after you noticed. Because… RUDE.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

19. People who talk with their mouths full of food. Sies man!

20. “Share this if you care about starving children in Africa” – sure thing, they will be so proud next time they log onto Facebook. They won’t have food, but at least they will feel loved. How about get off your narcissistic ass and donate some money, food, volunteer.. I don’t know. – something that actually matters besides boosting your ego on social media.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

21. Trophy hunting.  And the Asshole award goes to…

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

22. People who have an entourage of nannies and night nurses – maybe I’m just jealous, but I do believe that when you become a parent you make commitment to your child. A commitment to be there for all the crappy stuff and sleep deprivation, not just the good. (I’m not talking about having a nanny take care of your child when you are at work or going out, that’s different.)Don’t become a parent if you don’t want to actually raise your kids, they aren’t accessories.

23. The latest SAX Appeal. Racist little privileged shits.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

24. And on that note – Racism. Racists breeding more racists.

25. Humblebraggers.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

26. When my wireless internet connection drops… so. much. rage.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

27. Not having time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.

28. Patience might be a virtue, but so is hurry the fuck up.

29. What do you want for dinner? I don’t care, anything.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

30. Sitting in an hour long interview for a position that doesn’t exist. That actually happened this week.

31. Man bun on a balding dude… please don’t, just don’t. You are ruining it for everyone.

32. People looking away and taking a selfie – like they don’t know it’s happening…

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

33. Tha half face selfie… I don’t get it…. Is there something wrong with the rest of your face?

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

34. For the love of all things holy, stop with the Keep Calm and Carry On/Pet a Puppy/Love A Vampire/Write A Blog or whatever new fucking thing is we’re saying now.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

35. The Naked Sale at YDE.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

36. This. Someone should get fired.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

37. People who wear shoes  that have their toes hanging over the front or pinky toes sticking out the sides…

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

38. People who take credit for your work.

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

Anyway, I needed to get it all out…

Lot’s of love!

xxx

Maz

Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

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17 thoughts on “Things That Makes Me Want To Punch People In The Throat

  1. I almost snorted, I laughed so hard. The toe thing worries me so much! And the not knowing what they want for dinner and then complaining about what you cooked. Pregnancy is just filled with these irritations which didn’t help especially when you’re over emotional and don’t give a hoot who you have to hurt.. But the rubbing the stomach, weird and intrusive questions about birthing, feeding and which school you intend on sending your unborn child too, are just a few. I am lucky that I work from home simply because I wouldn’t cope in society.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel you there… I will never understand the selfie thing… selfies are fine in moderation… but i mean numerous a day… do you seriously have nothing better to do than take pictures of yourself?

    And the last bit of my rant as an attachment to yours… the Kardashians…’Nuff said

    p.s. another one… i have never being pregnant, but random people touching pregnant ladies bellies… i get irritated for them!

    Liked by 1 person

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