I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed, I don’t know if my hormones are still doing somersaults after giving birth almost 4 months ago or if this is perfectly normal…
I was sitting in the rocking chair with my baby boy earlier, looking down at his perfect little face when all of a sudden he grabbed my hand. I could not stop staring… he opened his hand in mine and my eyes started tearing up. One day, those hands are going to be bigger than mine, stronger than mine.
My dearest little boy… a little more than a year ago you were just a thought in far away dreams, a hope. Today I look at you and your presence overwhelms me, you feel so small yet so solid in my arms. I look into your clear blue eyes, so big and innocent.. you inherited your dad’s long eyelashes, a perfect frame to the window of your pure soul. You are growing so fast and I wish each moment with you to last forever.
Your smile has crept deep into my heart and warmed my soul… one day, that smile is going to sweep some girl off her feet. One day, you will become one very lucky girl’s Prince Charming. One day, you will be stronger than me. One day, you are going to tower over me, one day I might need your protection… but you will always be my little one. I look at you and realize, one day you will be a man. I hope you know I will always stand beside you, and I will accept you for whomever you become.
I love you and your sister more than life itself… sometimes I feel I might not survive it. I have so many hopes and dreams for you guys, so much I want you to know. I wish I could magically put everything that is in my heart into words. I hope you know that your life has made such a profound difference in ours.
IF…..by Rudyard Kipling
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!